Tag: writing

  • Love. Health. Happiness.

    Love. Health. Happiness.

    What are the most important things needed to live a good life?

    The Essential Ingredients for a Good Life: Love, Health, and Happiness

    Silhouette of a person standing on a dock at lake during sunset with three glowing heart shapes on the water
    A person watches a sunset with three glowing heart shapes over the lake

    In a world obsessed with success metrics—bank balances, career ladders, and social media likes—it is easy to lose sight of what truly matters. At the end of the day, when the noise fades, most of us crave the same thing: a life filled with love, health, and happiness. These are not just feel-good buzzwords. They are the causes of human flourishing. Without them, even the greatest achievements feel hollow.

    Glowing tree with intertwining branches and heart-shaped roots in a forest at twilight
    A luminous tree with glowing branches and heart-shaped roots against a twilight forest backdrop

    Love is the glue that holds everything together. I never imagined finding true love. It really is like nothing else. A life without meaningful connections is like a beautiful house with no one to share it.

    Being lazy and cozymaxxing with my true love!

    Research consistently shows that strong relationships are one of the strongest predictors of long-term well-being. People with robust social ties live longer, recover faster from illness, and report higher life satisfaction.

    Remember: Love is not always easy or constant butterflies. It is choosing commitment, empathy, and repair when things get messy.

    Even in my current health status, love has led to greater happiness in all aspects (even seeing my health improve!)

    Yoga mat with bowl of fruit and open journal titled 'Morning Thoughts' on a wooden deck at sunrise with mountain view
    A peaceful sunrise scene with a yoga mat, fresh fruit, and a journal on a wooden deck overlooking mountains

    You can have all the love and ambition in the world, but without health, enjoying them becomes incredibly difficult. Health is both physical and mental—your body’s ability to move and your mind’s ability to thrive.

    Poor health creates a domino effect. Chronic fatigue or pain steals joy from relationships and makes happiness feel out of reach. Good health, on the other hand, gives you energy, clarity, and resilience.

    Moving your body is important. You do not need to become a gym rat. Walking, dancing, yoga, or playing a sport you enjoy—consistency beats intensity. Aim for strength, mobility, and cardiovascular health.

    But make sure you fuel wisely. Bodies are made in the kitchen. Eat mostly whole foods that make you feel vibrant. Hydrate. Limit ultra-processed junk. Small, sustainable changes (like adding vegetables to every meal) outperform restrictive diets.

    You can meditate and get therapy too. Apparently mental health is pretty important. I have found that I am able to mentally relax the most when I talk to my boyfriend/am physically with him. I learn about my life and its patterns from this. My writing. This is the way that I manage my stress— thus I do not really have any anymore.

    Health is not about six-packs or never getting sick. It is about having the vitality to chase sunsets with people you love and wake up excited for the day.

    Happiness is not a destination or a constant high. It is a skill—It arises from collecting memories rather than just things. And being grateful for what is. We often get bogged down about what we want in life vs. what we have. This leads to anxiety and a general sadness.

    Thus, without happiness, love feels like a duty and health feels like a chore. Happiness amplifies everything good in your life and helps you weather the inevitable storms.

    True happiness often feels quiet: contentment with what is, while gently striving for better.The magic happens when love, health, and happiness reinforce each other: Healthy people have more energy to invest in relationships. Plus healthy people tend to be more attractive to others. Loving relationships buffer stress and boost mental health. Being happy makes you healthy. Happy individuals attract positive people and make healthier choices.

    They create a virtuous cycle. Neglect one, and the others suffer. Prioritize all three, and life becomes richer than you imagined.

  • Overcoming Challenges: My Journey to Walking Again

    Overcoming Challenges: My Journey to Walking Again

    There is something viciously satisfying about stomping up a grassy knoll with nothing but your own two shaky legs and your physical therapist’s hand clamped on the gait belt like a human safety harness. No clanking metal nightmare beside you. Just dirt under your sneakers, wind slapping your face, and the quiet middle finger you are flipping to the broken version of yourself that once existed…. Every step feels like a small rebellion against the version of me that once was told that walking again might not be feasible.

    Woman walking along a sunlit park path holding a water bottle
    A smiling woman takes a leisurely walk on a sunny park trail.

    I carry immense pride in these walks. Not just because I am challenging my body, but because I remember—vividly—how it all began. The early days of rehabilitation were a blur of frustration, disbelief, and a stubborn refusal to accept what my body had become. I kept envisioning the woman that I desired to be… Yet, I could not walk. And balance was a foreign concept, something I had taken for granted like breathing. I was like a baby giraffe on an ice rink. When my parents and therapists first brought out the walker, I stared at it like it was an alien artifact dropped into my life. This clunky, industrial-looking one sided thing

    Given that my entire left side does not function, I have to use this contraption

    with its ugly gray frame was supposed to be my new normal?

    I was young. Walkers were for “the olds,” for geriatrics with silver hair and stories spanning decades. Not for me. In my head, I was still the person who moved through the world with effortless confidence. So I resisted. I would not lean into it properly. I refused to put meaningful weight through my arms, convinced it looked weak, pitiful, unnatural. Seeing someone else shuffle along with a cane or walker had always struck me as heartbreakingly vulnerable. Now that vulnerability was mine, and I rejected it outright. “It looks weird,” I would think, as if aesthetics could somehow override physics or healing.

    The wheelchair, oddly enough, felt more palatable. Sleeker. Less like an admission of defeat and more like a temporary chariot. I could sit tall, roll with some semblance of dignity, and pretend this was just a phase. Anything but gripping that handle and hobbling along like I was suddenly ancient at a young age. Like I had given up. Denial is a powerful force—it shields you from the full weight of loss, but it also delays the work of rebuilding.

    Years passed in that strange space. Progress came slowly, measured in inches and small victories that felt monumental. There were falls. Many falls. There were days when fear gripped my chest so tightly that my legs simply refused to cooperate, as if my brain and body had declared a temporary truce that fear could shatter in seconds. That is when the gait belt became more than a safety tool—it became psychological armor. My therapist’s steady hand there gives me the permission to take risks. Without it, panic creeps in, muscles lock, and suddenly I am frozen, overthinking every shift of weight. With it, I can push. I can try. I can be.

    Legs of a person walking on a sidewalk with a crutch
    A person walking on a sidewalk using a support

    And now? I am walking without devices. Real, unassisted (mostly) steps outdoors, feeling the breeze, hearing birds, noticing how the ground changes texture from pavement to grass to mulch. The pride swells in my chest because I fought for this. I outlasted the version of myself that was not good enough. Thankfully, I was too proud, too vain, too scared to accept help in the “ugly” forms it took. Healing is not always graceful or Instagram-worthy. Sometimes it looks like tight muscles and shaky legs. Sometimes it requires stubbornness, not swallowing your ego and refusing to grip the walker that you swore you would never need.

    I still cannot stand the walker, if I am honest. I am still vain. The idea of using my arms to walk feels fundamentally wrong to me—like recruiting the wrong tools for the job. Legs are for walking. Arms are for reaching, hugging, creating. For a long time, that mental block held me back. But I have learned that true strength is in believing. Even if it is believing you do not need support.

    These outdoor walks with my therapist are more than exercise. They are proof of resilience. They are quiet celebrations of a body that was broken and is mending. They are reminders that “human again” is not about returning to who you were before (I do not want to be that person)—it is about becoming someone new, someone wiser…

    Cheers to every awkward, eyesore-assisted mile that led me here. And to every device-free one still ahead.

  • Why Settle for Basic When You Can Be His Ultimate Arm Candy?

    Why Settle for Basic When You Can Be His Ultimate Arm Candy?

    In a world drowning in sloppy sweatpants, filtered selfies, and the exhausting cult of “I’m a strong independent woman who don’t need no man,”: a woman should not only be beautiful. She should be dangerously interesting.

    Beauty opens doors, sure. It turns heads, stops conversations mid-sentence, and makes weak men stutter. But beauty without substance? That is just expensive wallpaper. Pretty to look at until someone better walks by.  Why do you think men are always leaving the Halle Berrys and Victoria’s Secret models?!

    It is a honor to be beautiful. Own it. Revel in it. Wake up every morning and treat your femininity like the rare, intoxicating weapon it is. Keep your legs (and the rest of your body) smooth like it is foreplay. Move with the kind of grace that makes other women clutch their pearls and men adjust their pants. Speak with eloquence that drips like honey—slow, deliberate, unforgettable. Wear the dress that shows off every bone like it is personally offended by fabric. Because your body, your presence, your entire aura is a privilege, not a participation trophy.

    Woman in green dress looking out window at city skyline during sunset
    Be elegant, not powerful

    But here is where the modern girlies lose the plot: please do not dare stop there.

    Your man does not just want a pretty face on his arm at events. He wants a woman who makes his blood run hot, his mind race, and his ego feel like that of a king. Beauty gets you in the door. Depth keeps you locked in his bed, his heart, and his future. Cook for him like you are seducing his soul. Laugh at his jokes even when they are mid, but roast him when he deserves it—sharp, playful, never bitter. Read books. Have opinions that are not just recycled social media drivel. Know when to be soft and yielding and when to challenge him just enough.

    My boyfriend was initially drawn to me because of my edgy and controversial personality that I exhibited on my old X account (Twitter). I have always been book smart— not naturally intelligent— but my man is always amazed by the amount of information I retain. I am obsessed with listening to podcasts (although I have been on a bit of a hiatus) and yes I read X.com like it is my personality curated newspaper. So I tend to be well versed and able to discuss his interests with him. (But I also had a fire profile picture…)

    How I do the “news”/ stay interesting now

    Yes, it has always been my number one goal to be arm candy for my husband.

    YES, please

    I did not stumble into this. I craved it for years before I even met him. While my friends were out chasing careers, validation from strangers, and that mythical “self-love” that somehow always required new hair dye and more therapy, I was curating myself like a masterpiece. I was sitting there in my wheelchair all fat and bloated— just daydreaming about the day my husband can show me off. I wanted to be the woman other men envy and other women quietly resent. I still do. The one who turns heads in the restaurant and makes his hand instinctively tighten on my waist. The trophy that is not just shiny but sharp as a blade underneath.

    And now? I take immense pleasure in being exactly that for my man.

    Chess queen piece standing alone on a wooden chessboard with spotlight
    A single chess queen piece illuminated on a wooden chessboard in a dim room

    There is something deliciously powerful about being on his arm, knowing every eye is on us—and that I am the one he gets to take home, unwrap, and ruin. I love being the visual feast he shows off and the private obsession he devours behind closed doors. I crave the way people glance a second too long and then look away because they know they could never have this. I love the quiet pride in his eyes when I charm, when I look flawless at four a.m. with bed hair that somehow still looks intentionality messy, when I anticipate his needs before he voices them.

    Call it outdated. Call it anti-feminist. I call it honest.

    Because let me be real: the “girlboss” who spends her nights crying into takeout because her “high-value” standards left her with a vibrator and an empty calendar is not winning. She is exhausted. Meanwhile, I am glowing, desired, and secure in the kind of traditional dynamic that actually satisfies something primal in both of us.

    Femininity is not weakness. It is strategy. It is power wrapped in silk and perfume. Being beautiful is the baseline. Being interesting—the kind of interesting that makes him obsessed—is the flex. And being unapologetically his arm candy? That is the victory lap.

    Maybe it is time to stop competing with men and start completing the one worth keeping.

    Green silk dress on a red velvet chair with casual clothes on the floor
    A green silky dress and casual clothing draped on a vintage chair in a cozy room.
  • Unapologetic New Beginnings: Crush Your Old Patterns

    Unapologetic New Beginnings: Crush Your Old Patterns

    I am unapologetically obsessed with new beginnings. New year? Yes, please. New season? Sign me up. New day? Gladly take it. But new months? That is my drug of choice. That clean page on the calendar hits different—

    This one is for the ones who want the raw, unfiltered version: the middle-finger-to-the-past, let’s-actually-change energy.

    Every 30–31 days, the clock resets whether your life is together or a flaming dumpster. That is the beauty and the brutality of it. You do not get to negotiate. The month ends. Old excuses expire. The universe does not care if you ghosted your goals or finally told your toxicity off—it just hands you a new battlefield.

    I crave that. It is proof we are not trapped. Last month you might have been spiraling, people-pleasing, doom-scrolling, or quietly dying inside. This month? You get to be the chaotic, glorious version of yourself that actually follows through. Or at least tries harder before self-sabotaging again. Progress, baby.

    New months expose the lie that you are “stuck.” You are not. You are just dramatic about continuity. The calendar calls your bluff every single time.

    The hope is not fragile and sparkly. It is gritty. It is the voice in your head that says “this month could be the one” even after you have failed spectacularly before. New months do not fix you. They just give you a fresh arena to fight in.

    I am always looking forward to something shiny and new. I am like a child with a new toy or puppy…. People generally get bored and stagnant when things are no longer new and exciting. So I am always trying to find ways to make the mundane worth celebrating.

    You do not need permission to want better. You do not need everything figured out. You just need to stop romanticizing your own stagnation.

    So when the clock strikes midnight on the 31st, feel that delicious little jolt. That is your cue. The old month is dead. And you do not need to attend the funeral.

  • Instant Gratification: The Sweet Poison We All Keep Sucking On

    Instant Gratification: The Sweet Poison We All Keep Sucking On

    We live in the age of now. Not tomorrow. Not next week. Now. Your ancestors waited months for a single letter, starved through brutal winters, and jerked off to cave drawings if they were lucky.

    You open an app and flood your brain with validation, food, outrage, or orgasms in under three seconds. Welcome to the golden age of instant gratification—the ultimate cheat code that quietly turning your brain into wet mush and your soul into a pit of greed.

    You know the drill. That little red notification bubble hits and your brain lights up like a slot machine. (I turned off my notifications for my own personal sanity). Social media is not a platform anymore—it is a premium-grade dopamine.dealer pushing TikTok, Instagram, X, whatever the flavor of the month is. Every scroll is a casino lever pull. Every like is a payout. We all check our phones at 3 AM, eyes bloodshot…

    Silhouette of person looking at phone surrounded by swirling digital notifications icons and messages
    A person stands surrounded by swirling social media and message notifications at night

    Dating apps turned romance into a vending machine: swipe, match, “u up?”—transaction complete. No slow burn. No tension. Just meat meeting meat with the emotional depth of a McDonald’s drive-thru. That is not how I met my forever. I do not do that empty soulless dopamine transaction.

    Vending machine with pink neon lights and heart decorations dispensing snacks and drinks
    A brightly lit vending machine named Heart & Glow dispenses snacks and drinks with a glowing pink heart theme.

    Want to “learn”? Why read a full book when some caricature on YouTube (or even AI) condenses it into a 45-second reel that makes you feel enlightened without any of that annoying retention or effort?

    Want to get rich? Crypto bros and OnlyFans “models” exist for this reason alone. Thus you have a lighter wallet and heavier self-loathing.

    And entertainment? Christ. We have all become allergic to waiting.

    Even my boyfriend refuses to start a new show until there are a fat stack of episodes ready to binge. He will wait weeks, sometimes months, just so we can tear through it together over a few nights. It is hilarious when you think about it—this is exactly how society used to watch television back in the day. You would tune in once a week, maybe catch the occasional rerun, and actually anticipate the next episode like a normal human with functioning patience.

    I personally do not mind the wait at all. Because that delay means something better: his arms wrapped around me on the couch, my head on his chest, sharing laughs and gasps in real time. No more staring at my laptop screen alone in my little corner of the dining table, eating my sad little snack while doomscrolling between scenes. The wait forces connection. It builds something warmer than the instant hit ever could.

    Your brain is still that of a caveman but now it is running on outdated hardware. It sees sugar, sex, status, or stimulation and screams “MINE“ like a toddler on Red Bull. Evolution never prepared us for infinite, on-demand pleasure at our fingertips 24/7.

    So we chase the hit. The hit gets weaker. Tolerance skyrockets. Vanilla porn stops cutting it. We want something harder. Freakier. Regular food tastes like regret. Your attention span disappears somewhere between the 50th reel and your 15th rage-tweet of the day. You become an unsatisfied junkie constantly upping the dose just to feel anything.

    Meanwhile, everything that actually builds a meaningful life requires the opposite: delayed gratification. That boring, unsexy grind.

    Yet we have been sold the lie that happiness equals constant pleasure with zero discomfort. Real satisfaction comes from the burn after a workout. The pride of work you actually bled for. The quiet warmth of waiting for something good with someone you love.

    Instant gratification is not pure evil. Life is too short to be like a disciplined monk. Eat the cake. Send the risky 2 AM text. Watch the porn. Chase that rush and feel alive for a minute.

    The danger is when it becomes your entire personality. When every evening is another solo scroll session. When you cannot sit with your own thoughts for five minutes without grabbing your phone like an addict.

    My boyfriend’s little TV rule is a small rebellion against all that. It is not revolutionary. It is just… human. It turns passive consumption into shared ritual. It trades the lonely instant dopamine dump for something that actually fills the tank longer.

    Society used to run on delayed rewards. Season finales meant something. Relationships took time to unfold. Success required seasons of invisible work. Now we want the finale tonight, the soulmate by morning, and six figures by next quarter.

  • From Black-Pilled to White-Pilled: A Mindset Shift

    From Black-Pilled to White-Pilled: A Mindset Shift

    I am not typically a negative person (read more here). I see the glass half full not half empty. However, I often feel that lack in my life—my man will say, “I wish they did that for you… you deserve a win” and my response? “That’s just how life works out for me now…. Whether it is my recovery, my relationship… I always have to wait”. Recovery crawling. Relationship hitting every red light. Opportunities? I am always waiting. Always.

    Sounds like some emo, woe-is-me playlist on repeat, right? But I am owning this pattern like its designer. I have stopped fighting the current and started riding the wave. Everything—everything—is gonna drop when it is supposed to. Not a second sooner, not a millisecond later. The delays are not punishments; they are plot armor. Call me delulu if you want, but I am wearing that label.

    Now let us talk about the real cancer that is eating souls these days: being black-pilled. You know the type. These miserables look at society’s flaming dumpster fire and the wreckage of their own lives and decide the only logical response is to glorify the potential apocalypse. “It is all doomed. Women are finished. Men are finished. The future is soy, depression, and climate lockdowns. Might as well rot in bed.” Black-pillers do not see problems—they call it realism. They marinate in present-day suckage and future-cucked despair like it is a personality trait. Spoiler: this is not deep. It is just being an emotional with extra steps. Zero growth. All cope.

    Personally, I am riding the white-pill wave so hard. White-pilled is not some naive sunshine and rainbows. It is refined, razor-sharp clarity with a side of patience. You start seeing every “delay” as divine diversion for your own good. That job that ghosted you? Saved you from becoming a soulless cubicle zombie. The slow recovery? It is the universe wrapping you in bubble wrap so you do not shatter before you are ready to become the final version of yourself.

    DIVINE TIMING ✨✨✨

    Nothing takes “too long.” It takes exactly as long as it needs to. You are not being ignored—you are being protected. That glorious 20/20 hindsight always rolls up: Every closed door, every late blessing, every “not yet” is the cosmos playing 4D chess while you are still stuck on checkers.

    Thus , I am done romanticizing the wait. I am weaponizing it. The black-pillers can keep doom-scrolling and crying into their half-empty drinks. I will be over here, glass half full (of celebratory champagne,probably), watching the universe cook up my victory lap.

    Timing is not the enemy. It is the ultimate plot armor. And when my moment hits it is going to be so loud that even the black pillers will not be able to ignore it.

    Winding dirt path through vibrant wildflowers with sun setting behind distant hills
    A winding path through a colorful wildflower meadow at sunset

    Stay white-pilled, kings and queens. The wait sucks, but the glow-up? Worth every second.

  • Spencer Pratt’s Mayoral Bid: Unpacking Local Political Rot

    Spencer Pratt’s Mayoral Bid: Unpacking Local Political Rot

    There is something refreshingly raw about a figure like Spencer Pratt, the infamous “villain” from The Hills, stepping into the political arena. Yes, I admit it: I have always been drawn to the villain in the story— the one who everyone else seems to hate. And right now, as Pratt campaigns for Mayor of Los Angeles in the 2026 race, that glossing over him is driving me absolutely insane.

    The 2026 Experience

    Pratt, who announced his bid on the one-year anniversary of the devastating Palisades Fire that claimed his own home, is not running a conventional campaign. He is on a mission to expose what he calls deep-seated fraud, mismanagement, and dysfunction in California. He talks boldly about cleaning up the streets, tackling homelessness (those “zombies”— as he calls them— wandering the city in a drug-fueled haze), and holding the powers-that-be accountable. It is the kind of outsider energy that resonates in a city plagued by visible decay. Yet the media and political insiders treat him like a punchline rather than a serious contender polling in the twenties and surging with real voter frustration. There should be a lesson in that.

    Here is the core lesson I have learned from observing politics at every level, and this is not a partisan jab—it is a structural truth that transcends red, blue, or whatever color-coded tribe you belong to: If you truly want meaningful change, you have to drive it locally. Primarily, start with yourself. National spectacles and global posturing grab headlines, but the day-to-day realities that crush or elevate ordinary lives—trash on the sidewalks, skyrocketing rents, failing schools, unchecked crime—are decided in city halls, county offices, and state capitals. The so-called “global elite,” do not lose sleep over the average taxpayer scraping by. They are insulated by distance, wealth, and influence. Real accountability starts at the street level.

    Yes, Pratt promises to shine a light on the waste, the fraud, and the entrenched interests that have turned parts of LA into an open-air disaster zone. But let us be brutally honest: do we really believe the system will simply let him? The mayor’s office sits beneath the governor’s shadow in the hierarchy of power. Look at the Zohran guy who won the mayoral election in NYC. never mind that I personally do not support his policies, I am pretty sure that he was never allowed to install his vision. It is because the governor makes the policies. And governors, like California’s Gavin Newsom, are in the business of creating jobs and opportunities—or at least the appearance of them. Here is where the cynical machinery reveals itself:

    A cracked hourglass leaking gold and silver coins over a wall separating two contrasting city areas.
    An hourglass with coins spilling over divides a prosperous city from a poorer settlement below.

    Imagine a city where homelessness and open drug use are largely erased. No more tent encampments. No more “zombies” shuffling through downtown or Venice Beach. On the surface, that sounds like victory. But zoom out: entire industries, nonprofits, task forces, union contracts, consulting gigs, and government programs depend on the existence of these problems. Cleanup crews, social workers, outreach teams, mental health contractors, housing initiative funders—the list goes on. If the problem vanishes, so does the justification for the budgets, the grants, and the jobs that flow from it.

    This is not conspiracy; it is economics 101. Problems that fester generate employment. Politicians can campaign on “solutions” year after year, securing votes from those dependent on the system while reassuring the frustrated public that help is always just one more program, one more tax increase, one more initiative away. “We’re working on it,” they say, as the tents multiply and the needles pile up. Clean it all up too effectively, and suddenly there is a surplus of idle bureaucrats and contractors wondering where their next paycheck comes from. Better to manage the crisis than solve it outright.

    That is the quiet cynicism at the heart of so much local governance. The people are left in a dependent loop, turning to “daddy government” for salvation while the same officials who presided over the decline promise yet another fresh start. Meanwhile, the average Angeleno deals with the fallout: unsafe streets, businesses fleeing, quality of life evaporating. Pratt’s outsider status—reality TV fame, no long political résumé—might be exactly what makes him threatening to this ecosystem. He does not owe favors to the same players as the regular politicians. He lost his home to what he sees as failed leadership. That personal stake could fuel genuine disruption, or it could highlight just how immovable the bureaucratic blob really is. We will see how this all plays out…

    I am not endorsing every plank of Pratt’s platform, nor am I blind to the spectacle of a Hills villain turned mayoral hopeful. But the visceral reaction against him from certain corners says more about the defenders of the status quo than about Pratt himself. In an era where frustration with visible failure is boiling over, his surge in the polls (recent numbers putting him in striking distance) reflects an electorate tired of the same scripted failures. But I remain skeptical whether his lofty vision is plausible.

    I know that is not how the political game is played. Local politics matters because it is where we see the proof in action. If we keep waiting for distant saviors or global resets, we will stay stuck in this cycle of decline. Whether Pratt can actually break it remains to be seen on June 2 and beyond. But ignoring the messenger because of his reality TV past, while the city continues its slide, would be the real insanity. Change starts local. The question is whether we will let the problems keep paying the salaries, or finally demand they end.

  • Cottagecore: Embrace the Gentle Rebellion Against Hustle Culture

    Cottagecore: Embrace the Gentle Rebellion Against Hustle Culture

    In a world that glorifies the relentless grind—the 5 a.m. alarms, the overflowing inboxes, the endless cycle of productivity hacks and side hustles—there is a quiet revolution blooming in meadows and on windowsills. It is called cottagecore, and it is not just an aesthetic. It is a lifeline for those of us whose nervous systems have been fried by the modern expectation to do it all, be it all, and still look effortlessly polished while doing so.

    Cottagecore is the dream of soft mornings wrapped in linen, the scent of fresh bread cooling on the windowsill, hands stained with berry juice from jam-making rather than ink . It is the gentle rejection of a life that was never designed for human flourishing. And for many burned-out Zoomers (and yes, some of us who came just before them), it became the soft landing we desperately needed.

    Picture this: You are rushing out the door, hobbling in stilettos, latte in one hand, briefcase threatening to burst just like your barely-contained anxiety. You Uber across the city for a meeting that could have been an email, all while mentally preparing for happy hour later—because heaven forbid you miss the narrow window to “meet someone” who might join you for brunch on the weekend. Then, because society demands you remain a certain shape, you drag yourself to a workout class at dawn so you do not become one of those “sad piles of fat.”

    Businesswoman in suit crossing street quickly with coffee cup and folders
    A businesswoman confidently strides across a busy city street holding coffee and files

    Layer on top of that the constant family obligations, notifications that never stop pinging, and the quiet terror that if you slow down for even a moment, you can fall behind. Our nervous systems were never meant to handle this level of stimulation. We are wired for seasonal rhythms, for community in small doses, for rest that actually restores.

    The pandemic, for many, cracked the illusion wide open. Suddenly the hamster wheel paused. No more commuting. No more forced socializing that left us emptier than before. And in that stillness, a truth emerged: we do not actually want the girlboss life. We want to bake sourdough at 10 a.m. on a Tuesday. We want to knit by the window while it rains. We want to tend a garden that feeds us more than just vegetables—it feeds our souls.

    Hands planting a small herb seedling in soil with thyme label visible
    A person plants a young herb in a sunny garden bed surrounded by labeled plants and gardening tools.

    I am not Gen Z. I did not discover cottagecore because the hustle culture finally broke me during lockdown. I chose this life because I fell in love—with a person, with a pace, with a vision of days that felt like poetry instead of performance.

    While the world was collectively reevaluating during those strange years, my slower lifestyle was already taking root. The pandemic did not force my hand; it simply confirmed what my heart already knew. I did not want to optimize my life for maximum output. I wanted to nurture. To create a home that felt like an embrace. To build something sustainable not just for my bank account, but for my spirit.

    There is profound strength in choosing the wooden spoon over the corner office. In trading stilettos for wool socks and well-worn boots. In measuring success by how many jars of jam line your pantry shelves instead of how many LinkedIn connections you have made.

    This is not about cosplaying: romanticizing poverty or playing pretend farm. It is about reclaiming what actually makes us feel alive.

    Cottagecore reminds us that caring— for a home, a garden, a partner, ourselves—is not weakness. It is the most radical act in a culture that tells us to outsource our softness.

    Rustic kitchen interior with wooden table, bread, coffee, and a floral bouquet
    A warm rustic kitchen bathed in morning sunlight overlooking a garden

    We were not built for constant performance. Our bodies and minds crave the slow turn of seasons, the satisfaction of self-sufficiency, the deep peace that comes from creating rather than consuming.

    To every soul who feels the pull toward this softer path: you are not lazy. You are not failing at modern life. You are remembering something ancient and true.

    Cottagecore is not an escape. It is a homecoming.

  • Why I Embrace My Ego: A Counter to Eckhart Tolle’s Philosophy

    Why I Embrace My Ego: A Counter to Eckhart Tolle’s Philosophy

    Look, I am not here to hate on spirituality. I am deep in the gratitude game. I say my thank-yous to the universe, I journal my little wins, I burn sage when the vibe feels off. I am not some closed-off cynic. But The Power of Now? Eckhart Tolle’s whole “dissolve your ego and float in the present moment like a neutered zen monk” sermon? Hard pass. That does not sit right with me. It actually pisses me off a little.

    The core of his gospel is this idea that your ego — those loud, chaotic, nonstop voices in your head — is the enemy. The villain that keeps you trapped in regret about yesterday and anxiety about tomorrow. Just drop it, he says. Surrender. Become pure consciousness. Be here. Be now.

    Nah. I love my ego. I cherish it. The ego has been my ride-or-die since day one.

    I definitely do not dwell on the past like most people. No endless loops of “what if I’d done this differently” or chewing on ancient mistakes. I burned those bridges and kept going. But the future? Oh, I am projecting that, I am out here scripting scenes, imagining outcomes, weighing risks, and feeling a healthy dose of hesitation about what is coming. That is not a flaw. That is survival.

    My ego has always been the loudest voice in the room — and I like it that way. Sure, acting like I am slightly better than everyone else has slammed some doors in my face. I have been called arrogant. Intimidating. “Too much.” Whatever. Those doors probably led to boring rooms full of beige people anyway. The same ego that rubbed some the wrong way also pulled in the chaotic, brilliant, ride-or-die humans I actually stuck with. It carved out a life that is messy, dramatic, and mine. I am not trading that for some sterile, ego-less void where I am supposed to smile at my IKEA furniture and pretend the present moment is peak existence.

    Because let’s be real: I do not love the Now.

    My current living situation? It is mid at best. The walls are closing in, the vibe is stale, and every day I am reminded this is not where I am supposed to settle. Everything is improving — slowly. My love life finally exists after what felt like a years in the Sahara, which should be a win, right? Except it is not all butterflies and multiple orgasms nightly. It comes with this sharp, gnawing loneliness that hits at 2 a.m. and makes me stress-eat like a raccoon in a dumpster. The Now, in 2026, tastes like lukewarm disappointment with a side of “is this it?”

    And Tolle wants me to dissolve into this? To stop thinking ahead and just marinate in the current flavor of meh? Sorry, Eckhart. I am not enlightened enough to find bliss in my fridge and relationship anxiety.

    I get it — rumination is a trap. Endless future-tripping can paralyze you. But pretending the ego is pure poison ignores how much fire it gives you. My ego is the part that says “I want more.” It is the voice that pushes me to level up, to demand better, to not settle for spiritual crumbs when I could build an empire (or at least a life that does not make me want to die ).

    So, I will keep my ego. I will keep my sharp edges, my projections, my cocky little strut through a world that keeps trying to humble me. I will stay ungrateful about certain parts of the Now because that discontent is rocket fuel. Maybe one day I will evolve into some floating consciousness who does not need anything external. But right now? I am stress-eating, plotting my next move, and loving the chaos in my head that refuses to shut up.

    Call it toxic. Call it resistance. I call it being alive.

  • Navigating Youthful Chaos: My High School Journey

    Navigating Youthful Chaos: My High School Journey

    My boyfriend and I have been mainlining our childhood like it is a caffeine drip—Beverly Hills, 90210, Melrose Place, and now it is my turn to open his eyes to my own high school drama—the glossy, sun-soaked fever dream that was The OC. God, I used to worship that world. I wanted the luxury car, the beach house, the effortless drama. Mostly I wanted the body. Marissa Cooper’s surfboard silhouette—long, lean, zero percent body fat, the kind of thin that makes clothes hang on your protruding bones. Paris Hilton-esque. vacant-eyed and untouchable. I wanted to be built like a surfboard. Instead, I got my own high school experience, which played out less like a Fox teen soap and more like a psychological horror.

    I changed school districts right before freshman year so that I could attend private school. Fresh start! New hallways, new faces, new chance to reinvent myself as someone people actually wanted to sit with at lunch. I showed up with the kind of desperate optimism only a fourteen-year-old can muster. I smiled too wide. I laughed at jokes that were not actually funny. I even joined the school soccer team, even though I was only a little speedster without any soccer ball skills. I was ready to collect friends like limited-edition.

    Middle school had already done its damage, though (read here). That was where I learned the rules of the game: be thin, get straight A’s, and the world will throw compliments at you like confetti. Teachers beamed. Boys stared. My mother bragged. It was the easiest dopamine I had ever scored. So when high school hit, I doubled down like a junkie with a new dealer. Social life? Optional. Body? A full-time job. Grades? Non-negotiable. Everything else could rot.

    I did try, in my own half-assed way. I met boys. Kissed one. The “bad boy” ala Ryan from The OC. Let him finger me through my Juicy Couture jeans (try explaining that hole in your jeans). I even went back to my old district just to play tennis for their team—commuting like a masochist because apparently I still needed some thread connecting me to “normal” teenage life. Those bus rides were surreal: me in my little skirt, racquet between my knees, pretending I was just like everyone else while my brain screamed calorie counts and tomorrow’s biology test.

    But the obsession was already metastasizing. One solid year of high school—that is all I really got before the sickness took the wheel. Freshman year had moments of light. I remember walking the halls in low-rise jeans that showed the sharp edges of my hip bones like trophies. I remember the rush when a senior looked twice. I remember thinking, This is working. Keep going.

    Then the mirror became my enemy, my priest, and my dealer all at once. I stopped eating lunch. I did sit-ups until 2 am. I measured my worth in the gap between my thighs and the numbers on the scale. Straight A’s were never enough anymore—they were just part of the game. The real prize was disappearing. Becoming so small that people worried. That kind of worry felt like love.

    The new school never really knew me. How could they? I was a ghost in Abercrombie. I showed up, aced everything, then vanished into my room to count ribs and cry over missed carbs. Friends tried. I pushed them away with the polite brutality of a girl who is already in love with her own destruction. Boys were easier—they wanted the fantasy, not the full dossier of my neuroses. So I became that girl… the boys’ friend. I gave them pieces. Never the whole haunted house.

    Looking back, it is grotesque how romantic I made it all seem. The OC soundtrack in my head  while I did crunches at midnight. The way I would stare at Marissa’s collarbones like they were scripture. I wanted that coastal California emptiness so badly I carved it into myself in the middle of nowhere suburbia. Meanwhile, the real kids around me were making memories—bonfires, breakups, bad decisions with cheap beer. I was making spreadsheets of my intake and hating myself in HD.

    There is something darkly funny about it now. I traded four years of messy, stupid, glorious teenage chaos for a body that still was not thin enough and a transcript that could not hug me back. I was the girl who had it “together.” Teachers loved me. My report cards were porn for my Russian parents. And I was rotting from the inside out, polite smile stapled to my face.

    If I could go back, I would tell that wide-eyed freshman something brutal: the praise feels good until it does not. The boys will not save you. The scale lies. And no amount of straight A’s will make you feel safe in your own skin. Sometimes the rebellion is not starving—it is eating the pizza and going to the dumb party anyway.

    But I cannot go back. So instead I am here, rewatching The OC with my boyfriend, laughing at how fake it all looks now. Marissa’s tragic glamour hits different when you have lived a version of it and survived. I am softer now. Older. Still fucked up in new and exciting ways. But at least I am not measuring my worth in negative space anymore.

    High school me would call that weak. Adult me calls it winning.

    What a twisted little victory lap.